Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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