normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
