I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
