...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
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