Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
