I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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