I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
They should really pass out barf bags in church
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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