just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
