i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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