A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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