I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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