i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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