its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
