i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
