thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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