Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
