Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
