I want to stick my p in your. b.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
