i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
