turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
