hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
