they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize