their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
