i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
