his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
