the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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