Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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