She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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