hotel room ftw
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
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We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
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YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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