when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
