so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
