Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
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The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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