Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
