Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
