Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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