All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
