Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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