weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
