at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm like, not good at living.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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