we're chasing vodka with high fives
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
