So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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