I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize