Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
