hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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