omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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