cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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