But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
