kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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