the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
