one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my liver is dry heaving
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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