found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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