Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize