You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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