You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
