guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
