yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
