Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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