Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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