i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
