Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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